Crashing of hopes of Hanuman

Thirteenth (13th) Chapter

Crashing of hopes of Hanuman

(The worries of the very disappointed Hanuman are described graphically. At the end he sees a glimmer of hope when he sees the Asoka forest)

After jumping from the Vimana on to the wall he was restless like the streaks of lightning among the clouds. 1

The monkey Hanuman after not being able to find the daughter of Janaka in Ravana’s palace in spite of vigorous and complete search told to himself as follows:-  2

I with a desire to do good to Lord Rama have searched this city completely and in spite of that was not able to find the very pretty Sita who is the daughter of Janaka. 3

I have definitely searched fully in small ponds, big ponds, ;lakes , streams, rivers, bushes in the deltas, forts, mountains and plains and am not able to find the daughter of Janaka anywhere. 4

The eagle king Sampathi told me about the presence of Sita in Ravanaâ€s palace and still I am not able to find her. 5

That Sita who was not born out of a womb, who was brought up in the kingdom of king Videha, who was well brought up with culture by the king of Mithila, who is the foster daughter of the sage-king Janaka will never reach the arms of Ravana who is uncultured., Is it not? 6

I think that when Ravana who was afraid of the arrows of Rama abducted her and was flying at a great height, Sita must have slipped from his hands and fallen to earth and died.  7

I feel that , it is a possibility that the heart of the well pedigreed Sita who was being abducted and was traveling in the paths of the sky used by sages must have stopped on seeing the sea .  8

I feel by the power of Ravana’s thigh and being trampled in his tight hands must have made her to give up her life. 9

Another possibility is that traveling far above the sky that daughter of Janaka must have tried to escape and fallen in the sea and must have died. 10

Alas, it is a possibility that the Sita who was far away from her relations, who was doing great penance and who was bent upon preserving her purity must have been eaten by the horrible Ravana. 11

Or it is possible that the cruel wives of the Rakshasa king must have eaten Sita who is pure and had black eyes. 12

It is also possible that always thinking about the full moon face of Rama who had eyes like the petals of lotus flower, and seeing there was no other alternative she must have simply died.  13

It is also probable that Sita who was born in the Kingdom of Mithila must have cried aloud Hey Rama, Hey Lakshmana, and Hey Ayodhy, and also crying many other things must have forsaken her body.  14

I also think that some times she must have been hidden in some dark underground vaults and like a bird put in a cage and must be crying even now. 15

How can Sita who is the wife of Rama, who has eyes like lotus petals, who is famous and who has brought up in the house of Janaka  submit herself to Ravana?  16

Whether she has been well hidden or has been killed or is no more because of her deep sorrow , this should not be informed to Sri Rama who is very deeply attached to her? 17

If I do inform him the truth danger will result and if I do not inform, then also it would have a worse result and in this circumstance I am not able to decide either way.  18-19

Hanuman then again reexamined his thought process to conclude as to what would be timely, yield good result and would be accepted as right by everybody.  20

If I do return to the kingdom of the monkeys without seeing Sita, what great thing would I get?, he thought 21

My crossing of the ocean, entry in to the city of Lanka and seeing of Rakshasas would go waste. he thought. 22

What will Sugreeva and the monkeys who have accompanied me and those two sons of Dasaratha who have reached Kishkinda tell me?, he thought. 23

As soon as I reach ,If I  inform the bad news to Sri Rama that I have not been able to find Sita, because of that he will die., he thought. 24

He would not stay alive if he hears the very cruel, hard hearted ,terrible and hard words which are without mercy and which cannot be borne by sense organs, he thought 25

The intelligent Lakshmana full of love to him seeing that Rama is bent on death will not also continue to live, he thought.  26

Once Bharatha hears that his two brothers are no more , he will also die .Once Shatrugna knows that Bharatha is dead he will also die. he thought. 27

Once they know that their sons are all dead, the mothers Kausalya, Sumithra and Kaikeyi would also not live. , he thought. 28

When he sees Sri Rama in this state, the grateful and truthful king of monkeys Sugreeva  would also forsake his life. He thought. 29

The miserable Ruma (Wife of Sugreeva) would be afflicted by the loss of her husband and be unhappy, sad and suffering pain and would leave her life. he thought.  30

Once Sugreeva is no more, Tara who is already miserable by the loss of Vali and also gone down in health by that sorrow would also die. he thought.  31

How will the lad Angadha continue to live in spite of the sorrow of loosing both his parents and also Sugreeva., he thought. 32

It is certain that afflicted by the sorrow of the loss of their kings, the monkeys would beat their head by their hands and fists and break their head, he thought.  33

All the monkey heroes who were respected and loved by good words and gifts by the famous monkey king would sacrifice their lives, he thought. 34

After that the monkeys would not go to play in places where there are lot of houses or in forests or in mountains, he thought.  35

Those who live with families and with wives and children , would be affected by the sorrow of their king and would roll in to rough terrain from the top of the mountains and die, he thought.. 36

Otherwise they will all die by consuming poison or hanging themselves or by starvation or by entering in to the fire or falling on weapons., he thought. 37

I think that by my return, the Ikshuvaku clan and the monkeys would all be destroyed and consequently there would be intolerably great wailing”, he thought. 38

So I would not return to the city of Kishkinda for it would not be possible for me to see Sugreeva without seeing Sita. he thought.  39

 If without returning I stay here, then those two great heroes who are also great souls, with a hope that the work will be done eventually would keep their souls  and so the monkeys also would live boldly, he thought. 40

If I am not able to see the daughter of Janaka, I can live in the shadow of the trees here with whatever good food that I get or with whatever food that comes my way , controlling my five senses and live a life of a recluse, he thought. 41

Otherwise I can raise a raging fire in these fertile areas with fruits and roots , near the sea and die by entering It.”, he thought. 42

The other alternative is to die of starvation so that the crows and other flesh eaters would eat away my body, he thought.

I know that this method of leaving ones life is permitted by great sages”, he thought. 44

If I am not able to find Janaki then with grace I can fall in to the water, he thought. 45

This beautiful long night which began very well for me in which benefits were received one after another which lead to my fame became a waste to me because I am not able to see Sita, he thought. 46

At least I can become a sage who controls all his senses and live below a tree, he thought. 47

Without seeing that black eyed beauty I will not return from here, he thought. 48

If I return from here without finding Sita , Angada will die with all his monkeys, he thought. 49

There are many bad results because of death and the one who lives ultimately gets the good and he one who lives definitely gets pleasures, and so I will keep my life, he thought. 50

That monkey chief in spite of again and again analyzing his sorrow did still not reach the end of his sorrow. 51

He then thought, Let the abducted wife of Rama be any where but let me kill the very strong ten headed Ravana for by doing that base act and at least I would have  taken revenge. 52-53

Otherwise I will take him like a sacrificial cow being taken to the fire over the sea and put him at the feet of Rama, he thought.  54

Not knowing anything about that Sita, being very thoughtful, worried and sad the monkey thought thus. 55

Till I am able to see the famous Sita who is the wife of Rama, I would keep on searching the city of Lanka again and again. 56

Had I brought Rama with me fully believing the words of Sampathi, not being able to see his wife, Rama would have burnt all the monkeys. 57

I would live here reducing my food and controlling my organs for because of that those men and monkeys will not all die because of me. 58

I am able to see an Asoka forest with very big trees and this is the only one place I have not searched yet. 59

I would salute the eight Vasus, eleven Rudras, eleven Suns two Aswini devas, and seven Maruths and become some one who will increase the sorrow of these Rakshasas  60

I am going to somehow win over all the rakshasas and present Sita belonging to the Ikshuvaku clan to Sri Rama like giving the end result to the one who is doing fire sacrifice.  61

The resplendent Hanuman who was the Son of God of wind, meditated like this for some time and ended up with the senses devoid of the tie of sadness.  62

My salutations to Sri Rama along with his brother Lakshmana, My salutations to Sita who is the daughter of Janaka, My salutations to Rudra, Indra, Yama the god of death, Vayu the god of wind, moon, sun and The people of Maruth”, he saluted  63

After saluting thus and also saluting Sugreeva Hanuman thoughtfully examined all the ways to the Asoka forest. He considered Asoka forest as the first place for success and thought about his future steps. 64-65

This Asoka forest, with all sort of decorations, with densely populated trees and which is full of Rakshasas should be searched immediately he thought. 66

Here sentries have been posted here and there and are protecting the trees and the wind is also blowing strong, he observed. 67

Let the sages and Devas bless me to give me result in this attempt by making me small and not visible to Ravana and also for the sake of Rama, he prayed  68

Let the ever existing Lord Brahma , other Devas, God of Fire, God of wind and Indra with his weapon of diamond grant me success, he further prayed.  69

Let Varuna(god of rain) with the rope in his hand, sun, moon, the great Aswini devas, Maruths, Parameshwara, that God who is the chief of all beings, all the beings and several other invisible gods who are on my way grant me victory in my attempt, he prayed. 70-71

When will I be able to see the noble Sita’s face, which has a prominent nose. which has clean teeth, which is without blemishes, which has eyes like the petals of lotus flower and which glitters like the moon without blemishes, he wailed. 72

How is she who is without support, who is forever meditating, who has been abducted  by the cruel sinner Ravana who wore a good form over his terrible aspect, going to become visible in front of my eye, he thought. 73

Thus ends the thirteenth chapter of Sundara Kanda which is in the Ramayana which is the first epic written by Valmiki.

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